The Aftermath Baby blues
by Nesiee
Summary: Two months and still no sleep.. Two days and he missed her something fierce. Opie was tired of the sleepless nights but he was even more tired of not seeing his little girl and Old Lady. He was ready to set the bond and he was more than ready to take the necessary steps he had to, to have that connection with his deaf daughter. That still didn't mean he wasn't jealous...


His bones ached from tiredness, his eyes were burning from the hours without sleep and most of all his ears were still ringing from the cries of his little girl. His heart too was aching and tired. He could no longer listen as his little girl screamed her lungs out, not aware of how loud she was begin or how much her constant crying was breaking her parent's hearts. They were both at a loss as to why little Ella was crying, they both knew walking out the door to the hospital that she would cry, they underestimated just how much crying would be involved. This was breaking his heart seeing his baby constantly crying, but what really hammered the nail in his chest was his Old Lady. When Ella cried, Nicole cried. Not knowing the reasons why Ella was crying was driving them both up the wall with madness and tiredness.

He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a full night's sleep without Ella waking up and screaming at the top of her little lungs. Opie was pretty sure that his daughters cry would ring in his ear for the rest of his life. They said it would be hard. The doctor had told them it would be hard trying to get Ella settled into a routine, harder than usual, but his daughter was not usual. She was deaf. That didn't mean Opie didn't love her any less. He would love her if she had hundred-percent good hearing just as much as he loved her now with next to none. But God help him, his daughter was slowly killing him.

Two months old and Ella still wouldn't go down for a full two hours without waking up. Sometimes it was just as easy as Nicole removing her shirt and letting Ella latch on, but other times, she wasn't hungry, she didn't have wind, and she didn't need a new diaper. She was just crying for crying's sake. Those were the times when Opie just wanted hop on his bike and let his engine's roar drown out the echoing ring of a babies cry. He wanted to forget about his little girls crying and whimpering and his Old Lady's frustrated glances and tried gaze. The guilt hit him harder than a semi rolling towards him at ninety miles per hour.

Certainly parenthood was hard, nobody would argue with him on that. But for Opie, parenthood was a hard rope to grasp and he felt like he was trying to grab the rope with greased up fingers.

After the first month Nicole had fell into a comfortable swing with Ella, despite the child's constant crying and the difficulty that came with trying to get her into a routine, Nicole and her were was always looking up new ways to connect with Ella, seeing as Ella couldn't hear either of their voices, Nicole hummed lullaby's and soft tunes for Ella and she was already making hand signals when she talked to Ella making the baby girl try to smile at her mother and move her hand , who wasn't one for the internet or computers, was at a loss as to how he could connect with his daughter. Sure, Nicole showed him signs that would be vital to their daughter as she grew older and he played his part in the night feeds and staying up with Ella, hence the sleep depravedness, but he didn't have a connection with Ella, not like Nicole did. They bonded during the day while he was at TM or with the club; he felt like there was never going to be time for him and his daughter to bond, to connect like father and daughter.

The need for sleep without any interruptions was too strong for him to ignore as he sat in Church with his brothers barely keeping his dark orbs from falling shut as Clay talked about business. His father had to hit him to wake him up from the light sleep he had fallen into._ I need sleep._ Opie couldn't take another night of interrupted sleep, not again.

"You with us Ope?" Clay and the boys smirked knowing how tired Opie had been lately and the reason why he was.

Within the second week of Ella's homecoming she had been passed around the clubhouse as the tough bikers cooed and aww'ed at the little baby girl in their arms. Who knew all it took was for a little baby to be in their arms and the tough bikers melted like ice cubes in the middle of the summer sun. Nicole and Opie had stood proud as everyone complimented their daughter. They were proud parents of their little girl and received many compliments on the perfect mixture of their features. Ella had gotten her dark eyes from her father, her cute tiny nose from her mother, her pouty lips from her mother and her wobbly chin from her father. There had been a lot of teasing from the boys throughout Nicole's pregnancy that Ella would end up with her father's 'ugly mug' as Chibs put it, but surprising she had a good mixture of both her parents features.

The biggest softy had been Chibs; he had completely fallen head over heels in-love with Ella. Ella had spent the longest time in the Scottish-biker's arms, begin snuggled and smothered with love. Chibs had sat down with Ella in his tattooed arms and talked to her about everything and anything, from engine parts and bike colours to how beautiful she would look when she grew up. Likewise, Ella was just as fascinated by Chibs as Chibs was with her. The little girl was always running her hand along Chibs scarred cheeks, completely intrigued by the marred skin. She was a hundred percent engrossed with the Scottish biker whenever she was in his arms. Nicole had a feeling they would be thick as thieves when Ella was old enough. She had the older man wrapped around her little finger, just like her parents, uncle and her grandfather.

Opie had been shocked to see the Scottish biker melt like butter at the sight of his little girl, out of all the toughest men in the room and Chibs was as tough as nails still at his age; he hadn't expected to see him change from a tough old man to cuddly teddy bear in a matter of minutes. Chibs definitely saw Ella as his second chance at begin a father, although he knew that at the end of the day he would always have to give her back to the young couple, no one had the heart to limit their time spent together. Chibs had such a way with the little girl that she was always so quiet and peaceful with him, she rarely cried when she was in his arms unless she spotted her mother or father in the room with her baby bag. She was definitely her father's daughter because she ate like a horse for such a small baby.

Opie would never admit this out loud, but he was extremely jealous of the bond Ella and Chibs had. Opie's bond with Ella was nowhere near as close as Chibs and his daughter was. Opie wished to God that he could hate the older man or snatch his daughter away whenever the Scot's man was in the room and holding Ella, but he just didn't have it in him to be so cruel. He couldn't even bring these insecurities up to his Old Lady; he didn't the faintest idea as to how he would even approach the subject to Nicole. _'Hey baby, I'm ridiculously and insanely jealous of Chibs because he has a soothing effect on our daughter and all I seem to do is make her cry.'_ Yeah, that would be a great conversation starter.

Opie snapped his head up from his tried gaze and nodded tiredly at Clay, trying to suppress a yawn. Clay eyed him suspiciously but let it side, knowing how much trouble Opie had trying to grasp parenthood with his deaf daughter. Clay never had the experience of having his own child but from the tried and worn expressions that he had seen over the years from Bobby, Piney, even his best friend John Teller, he was kind of glad that he had wrapped his junk every time. Maybe he should help a brother out. Poor Opie had been running of exhaust fumes for two months with no sign of ever stopping for sleep.

"There's a run coming up in tomorrow, a few of the Rouge River boys could use some help with an internal problem with their town people, any volunteers?" Clay looked around and sighed when no one raised their hands. _Too comfortable in their chairs..._

"Right. Since no one wants to volunteer, I'll put it up. Jax, Ope and Chibs it's been awhile since any of you took a trip up north, now as good as any." Clay slapped the gravel down without any hesitation, ending church. He casted a glance down at Opie who looked like he wanted to object but just sighed and stood up tiredly and left the room, no doubly on the way home all ready, not stopping to stay for the after party.

"You sure that's the right move pres?" Bobby stayed behind as the rest of the boys filed out of church like their tales were on fire. He nodded at the retreating back of the giant Winston.

"Yeah, maybe now he'll stop sleeping in Church and actin' like a little bitch and gets his dick sucked or somethin'." Clay stood up and watched as Bobby passed in front of him, shaking his mane of locks.

* * *

"Babe?" Opie called out as he softly closed the front door to their large Victorian home and dropped his keys on the table beside the door. He noted the silence of his home and let out a sigh of relief. Ella had been screaming her lungs out before he left, so it was refreshing to come home to a silent house.

He walked into the sitting room and saw the string of baby toys tossed around the room and slowly bent down to pick each one up. He came to the small pink stuffed penguin and smiled, it was the first gift Opie had gotten Ella and she had been inseparable with the little teddy ever since. Opie wondered how Nicole had gotten Ella down without the little teddy; she usually never went too far without it.

"Ope?" Opie turned to see Nicole dressed in one of his t-shirts that came half way down her thighs and blue flannel pyjamas. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun with a few stray strands outlining her perfect face. Opie smiled grimly at her and opened his arms for her to step into them. His baby looked tried. So so tried. Nicole had dark circles under her usually bright hazel eyes, but with Ella's screams lately, the light in Nicole's eyes had dimmed noticeably. She still had that new-mother glow to her though; Opie didn't think that would ever really go. She never looked more perfect to him, but at this present moment Opie was too tired to do anything but sleep. He rested his beard covered cheek against the top of Nicole's sweet, soft smelling hair and closed his eyes._ This was home._ It had been so long since he had held Nicole like this, in such close proximity. Neither of them had the energy to touch each other at night and Opie's balls were very fuckin' blue.

Opie really didn't want to break this moment of savoury, but he had to tell Nicole about the run. This would be the first run he had been on since Ella was born and he'd be lying if he said he couldn't wait to get away. There was that guilt again, this time it hit him full force.

"I've got a run tomorrow." Opie muttered against Nicole's silky hair, his eyes still closed. He felt Nicole's body tense up under his colossal hands and her slow breathing hitched. He knew this wouldn't be good. Opie was leaving her with their two month old daughter, _alone._ They were barely making it through the nights with two of them, how was Nicole supposed to make it through three or four nights _alone_ with Ella?

"Why?" Nicole asked quietly, her face was still pressed to his chest so that was a good sign, so far.

"Problems down in Rouge River." Opie kept it short and sweet. No point in delving into club business so late.

"How long?"

"Couple of days, maybe more. Depends on how bad it is." Opie's response came out tighter than he meant it to and he knew from Nicole's body tensing and the way she pulled away from his arms, they were going to fight.

"Why you? Can't someone who doesn't have a two month old baby AND an exhausted Old Lady, go instead?" Nicole asked accusingly. There were plenty of brothers at the table that had no small children or any Old Ladies, why would Clay ask him? She didn't want to think like this but she couldn't stop the thoughts forming in her head, her hormones were still all over the shop since having Ella.

Maybe, just maybe, Opie put himself up for offer. Maybe he wanted to get away from her and Ella. Nicole knew that it wasn't easy with Ella but they were trying their best. She knew, at some point she would spent nights alone with Ella but she at least thought that wouldn't be for another little while or at least until Ella was settled into a routine and she would sleep soundly through the night. Apparently that wasn't going to happen.

"I don't know why Clay chose me, but it's not like I can pull out. I have an obligation to the go, to the club." Opie stepped back from his fiery Old Lady and watched as she shook her head from side to side.

"What about me? And Ella? Where's your obligation to us, to your family?" Nicole challenged Opie. She knew she would get a rise out of him and she knew the only reason they were fighting was out of sheer exhaustion and lack of sex. In the morning after they had both gotten a small amount of sleep they would feel bad for starting on each other.

This had been happening frequently lately; they would pick little things and blow it out of proportion. Maybe it was better if Opie did go on this run. Nicole never had a problem before with Opie going on runs as long as he kept his dick in his trousers. They had their own rules and customs when it came to runs and that was Opie never stuck his dick in someone else, it was deal breaker for Nicole. He was more than welcome to get blow jobs or hand jobs, but that was strictly it. There was to be no repeat girls or kissing and if it was an exceptionally long run then Opie had free rein to fuck anyone he liked as long as it was face down and there was no repeats. Those were Nicole's terms and she had no idea if Opie actually followed them or not, she just had blind faith that he would. She knew in her heart and soul, if she ever found out that he was fucking everything and anything while on runs or in the clubhouse, she would leave. And she would take their daughter with her. She wouldn't stand around like an idiot like some of the other Old Ladies, she would take their daughter and leave, as much as it hurt, she would do it.

She couldn't help the insecurities rise to the surface though. She was no longer the curvy, confidant, bright eyed and bushy tailed Old Lady that Opie was used to. Oh no, she was a mother now. She had dark circles under her eyes and four times out of the day she smelled of baby vomit and dirty diapers. Most days she barely had time to shower let alone dress up in the nice clothes Opie was used to seeing her in. Now she opted mostly for jeans and a loose shirt, hiding her post baby body- mostly hiding her stomach.

It was mainly down to her why they hadn't had sex in almost six weeks. She hated her new body. She hated the way her stomach had deflated and she was left with a band of baby weight and stretch marks, even though she had been using oils during her pregnancy, it still hadn't stopped her stomach from begin marked. She couldn't even find the time during the day to exercise because any spare moment she had was either spent sleeping when Ella was sleeping or looking up new ways to communicate with her daughter. She knew all of these thoughts were down to her and her mind but she couldn't stop herself. She had always been self-conscious about her body since her teens and just when she was happy with herself and her look, she got pregnant. She would always be proud of her body for carrying their baby and the pain she endured to have their little girl, but right now with Opie always surrounded by porn starts and horny crow eaters she hated it. She knew she wasn't helping the situation by not putting out, but she really couldn't find it in herself to let Opie pretend to love her while she hated her body, knowing that if Opie went down there he would more than likely see what she sees in herself, disgust.

"Don't do this Nicole, I mean it. I'm not in the mood and I don't have the energy to fight with you over a stupid run that you knew would happen sometime soon. It's just three days, four tops. It's not like I'm going away for months on end. I am coming back." Opie sighed and sat down on the plush sofa, rubbing his tired eyes as he looked up at his angry Old Lady.

"It's not about coming back Ope, it's about the nights I'm alone with Ella. We're barely keeping it together with the two of us, how the hell am I going to make it through the next couple of days _alone!?_"

"You knew at some point I was going to have to do this, that I was goi-"Opie was cut off by Nicole raising her voice.

"Yeah, but not so soon! Jesus Ope, Ella's barely two months old!" Nicole argued her point to Opie but she felt like she was getting nowhere. How was she going to get this through to him?

"You think I don't know that? You think I _want_ to leave you here, struggling to take care of our daughter alone?! I would much rather stay here with you and look after Ella, but I can't!" Opie's voice was raised but it lowered when he heard the sharp cries coming from upstairs and the baby monitor in Nicole's hand lit up, flashing red. They had woken Ella from their fighting.

"Great! Just freakin' great!" Nicole muttered irritably, as she snatched the pink penguin Opie had left on the table and left the room to climb the stairs to the nursery. Opie could hear her walking into the nursery, picking up Ella and talking to her through the baby monitor she left on the table.

"Hey, hey baba what's with all the noise? Shhh it's okay." Opie could imagine her swaying side to side, rocking their little girl until her cries became little whimpers. "I know your daddy and I probably woke you up with our stupid fighting, but I promise we'll stop now cos' mama's going to bed now, with or without your daddy. Yes she is." Nicole cooed at the baby no doubt making little signs with her hands to her too.

Opie couldn't have felt any shittier than he did right now. He had woken his daughter, who had a hard enough time as it was sleeping, by raising his voice fighting with her mother no less. After ten minutes of listening to Nicole talking to Ella and getting her settled again, he heard the soft breathing of the little baby and heard Nicole close the door over, but leaving it slightly ajar. He listened again as Nicole walked into their bedroom and closed the door. She was officially ending their fight.

Opie thought it would be better for him if he slept in Murren's old room instead of going into their room and risking the chance of starting up another argument. Murren had moved out when Nicole was seven months pregnant and she denied the fact that she shared an apartment with Jay, but everybody with two working eyes could see their relationship as clear as day. Except for Nicole. She didn't really have the time to notice what her brother and best friend were getting up to behind her back, Opie didn't either really.

He had been at one of the Friday night parities with Jax when he saw Happy and Jay in the ring. Nicole and Murren had decided to pass up on the party and stay home with horror movies and junk food instead of the intense SAMCRO after party. Not that Opie could blame his Old Lady, he would much rather be home tangled in their sheets than at the clubhouse, but he promised Jax they'd hang out. It was no known secret that Happy and Murren had been a thing or at least they had been tappin' each other fairly frequently until Jay finally owned up to his feelings. It had been a serious love triangle for many months. There had been a jealous Jay, a smug Happy, a very confused Murren and the rest were all just waiting and watching from the side-lines. The love triangle had finally hits its peak and Jay and Happy had fought it out in the ring, afterwards Happy walked off with a leggy blonde and fiery redhead to easy the wounds inflicted on his bruised ego. Now everybody was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and Jay would make Murren his Old Lady.

Opie thought back on the last eleven months and slipped soundlessly into the sweet, blissful darkness only waking up once to change Ella and check in on Nicole. After he had gotten some sleep, he could see where Nicole was coming from and he felt bad about them fighting, again. He just hoped that this run would help them. He hoped that maybe Nicole would see that she didn't always need him with her, she was doing a great job with Ella all on her own- he was another story. It should be Nicole going on the run and he should be the one looking after Ella, after all he was the one that needed to spend more time with her, not Nicole. But what could he do? He had to do this run.

The next time he woke was to his alarm, the noise from his alarm woke Ella and he immediately got up to get her a bottle. He wanted Nicole to get as much sleep as she could before he left for the run. He knew Nicole would mostly likely sleep through his alarm anyways, he was the early riser in their relationship. He was used to begin up at six or seven in the morning for runs, but Nicole never had to be up until at least eight for her shift at the hospital, that was the earliest he had seen her up for any of her shifts. Any of her other shifts were mostly after ten or twelve. He didn't know what shifts she would be working when she went back after her maternity leave.

He lifted Ella easily from her crib and cradled her in his big arms; her sobs quieted but didn't stop. She looked up at him with big, doe eyes and a wobbly chin. _His eyes_. Opie though as he walked down stairs with her and went about heating up one of the many bottles already made from the night before.

He studied Ella as he waited for the microwave to beep and kissed her forehead. The little girl squirmed under her father's stare but made no protest or noises about begin started at. For such a small baby she ate a lot. It was another she got from him besides his eyes and his frown. Ella frowned a lot around him. It was as if she was always trying to figure him out, the same way he was trying to figure her out. They stared back and forth at each other until the microwave beeped and Ella let out a small wail.

Opie walked the length of the kitchen and finally settled in the sitting room as Ella drank her bottle, silently observing Opie. He sank down into the plush sofa once again and rocked his baby girl as she drank her bottle. His ringed fingers stroked over Ella's fine, thick black hair as her eyes glazed over with sleep and a feeling of fullness settle over the baby. He gently pulled the nipple of the bottle from her mouth and placed the bottle back on the table, Ella's eyes opened immediately when she noticed the bottle had been removed and she focused her brown eyes on Opie.

Opie could start to make out little specks of green and gold in Ella's eyes, not yet strong enough to overcome the dark brown that was dominant in her eyes. He could see Ella studying him and her little hand shot out to touch his face, running over his brow, nose and stopping on his cheek. She dribbled down onto her bib but the corner of her pouty lips turned up and she did the one thing that made Opie's heart stop. She smiled at him. Although it wasn't a full smile or even a grin, the corners of her lips just turned up but it was the closest thing he was going to get to a smile for a long time.

"Did you just smile at daddy? I think you did, baby girl. I really hope you did, cos' daddy definitely needs someone to smile at him now that your mama is pissed at me. Baby girl what am I supposed to do? Hmm?" Opie asked Ella as he burped the little girl. It was a good thing he hadn't put on a clean shirt yet or showered. Ella had just burped all over the towel and some had fallen down onto his bare shoulder.

"You're such a messy baby." Opie cooed softly and rubbed his nose against hers. She tapped his face in return; something she had been doing a lot recently was touching faces or tapping them. After he finished burping Ella he watched as she slowly went back to sleep as he rocked her and when she finally nodded off he placed her back in her crib upstairs and showered and dressed. He had just dressed from the shower when his burner rang, it was time to go. He checked in on Ella one more time to see her still fast asleep and then stopped by their bedroom door.

Nicole was in the middle of their spacious bed wrapped and interwoven in the sheets, even if Opie wanted to sleep in their bed last night he would have found it difficult to make himself comfortable without pulling Nicole into his arms and he knew without a doubt Nicole would have said something about that. Opie sat down on the side of the bed and gently ran his fingers down Nicole's arm as he looked at his Old Lady. She definitely deserved to sleep in and he knew Ella would sleep for a good two or three hours after her bottle, she usually did. By the time Nicole woke up Ella would still be asleep, so he hoped his Old Lady takes advantage of those few hours to relax.

"I love you baby." Opie whispered lovingly before placing a light kiss on Nicole's cushion lips and standing up from the bed. It would be another three or four days before he say her or Ella again. He was going to miss them something fierce. This was the first time he'd be away from them longer than a day and with the little surprise from Ella this morning he was feeling that little bit more confidant in his bond with her. He left the house without a sound and started his bike, he was meeting Jax and Chibs at a diner just outside of Charming and then they would make the two hour journey to Rouge River.

* * *

Nicole woke ten minutes after Opie had left and was surprised by the quietness of the house. She was usually woken up by Ella but she hadn't stirred at all last night._ Weirdddd_ Nicole thought as she got up and shuffled out of her bedroom to check on her daughter. She noticed that Ella was still fast asleep which was unusual for Ella because she was always awake as soon as the morning sun was shining through the pink curtains and wanting her morning bottle. She was just like her father begin an early riser. _Opie_ she thought as she walked downstairs and saw the empty baby bottle. He must have gotten up with Ella both times, during the night and this morning. He must have been dead on his feet when he got up to leave this morning. Usually Ella kept her up most of the night crying but she hadn't heard her crying much last night, then again she never really cried all that much for Opie. Just a simple wail or whimper was needed and daddy was there.

Well if Ella wasn't going to be up for another hour or two she was going to soak in a much needed bubble bath with her coconut and vanilla bath bombs. She was going to treat herself and then make a trip over to see Murren; it had been a while since they had seeing each other. Nicole undressed and let her hair down from its tie as the water was pouring in the background, the bathroom was full of exhilarating and intoxicating smells and steam clouded the mirror. Something Nicole was glad for. She hated looking at down at her body after showers and baths and seeing her post baby weight and the stretch marks. She tried her best to avoid the mirror when she had no shirt on and she practically ran to get into the bath as it was filling.

Nicole sighed as she sank down into warm water and bubbles. She dipped her fingers into the bowel that contained the face mask made of fresh avocados and crushed cucumbers. She had made a paste before she got into the bath and now she couldn't wait to the feel how soft her skin would be after it. What she really couldn't wait for was a good catch up with her best friend. She felt like she hadn't seen her best friend it years, she was over exaggerating of course, but it had been almost a month since either of the young women had seeing each other, the longest they had ever went without catching up or at least texting each other. She missed her best friend. And she was dying to find out what was going on between Murren and her brother.

She was no fool. She may wear glasses but she certainly was under no circumstances, blind. She seen how her brother looked at Murren, had seen it since they first hooked up when they were teenagers. She knew without a shadow of doubt they were hooking up, her and Ella were going to play detective today and find out just how long and how serious things were.

Nicole carried Ella's car seat up the steps of Murren's new apartment as the baby happily blew spit bubbles out of her mouth. She had noticed her brother's bike parked outside and decided to let herself and Ella in._ Might as well catch them in the act… _Nicole shook her head as she opened the front door and heard the moaning and groaning.

"Ya know baba; maybe you should let them know there's a child in the house. Where's that booming voice we all know you have? Huh?" Nicole asked as she settled Ella's baby seat on the floor and un-buckled the baby. Ella was more than happy to be free of the buckles that kept her strapped in on the ride over but gave her a frown as Nicole picked her up. Nicole knew Ella would start crying going from one restrainment to another. She could see Ella's chin wobble and the tears started to gather in her dark eyes. It wasn't long before Ella let out a loud wail, followed by another louder wail and the moaning and groaning stopped. Nicole soothed Ella while she waited for Murren or Jay to leave the room; she also started boiling the kettle with three cups out already. Begin the new mother that she was, she was only starting to get used to her multitasking skills.

She sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of her and Ella sitting quietly in her lap playing with her pink penguin, when she saw Jay's bed head stick around the corner. His black hair was spiked up in all different directions and his shirt was unbutton, his jeans were barley buttoned but when he saw his little sister sitting in front of him he fumbled to button them up and look half way descent in front of his niece.

"Morning… or should I say afternoon?" Nicole smirked as she took a sip of her tea. She would never get sick of messing and teasing her big brother, especially now that she had caught him red-handed with her best friend.

"Afternoon." Jay mumbled as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He plucked Ella from her lap and held her in his big arms. "Hey princess." He smiled at the little girl as she touched his face and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her sweet baby scent.

Nicole watched as Jay let Ella play with his rings and couldn't help but think he would make such a great father whenever or if he decided to become one. He would deny it to the end of his days but Jay adored children and he was so good with them, she knew somewhere in her brothers heart that he want a miniature version of himself. Little sisters just knew these things.

"From the sounds of things I'd say you had a great morning." Nicole's smirk got wider as she noticed a slightly blush on her brothers cheeks. "Aww is Jason Carroll blushing?! I haven't seen you this red since the time ma caught you going at it with Jenny O'Rourke in the side shed, going at it like animals is what she said." Nicole laughed as Jay grimaced at the memory. It was had been his first time with a girl and his mother walked right in on them doing the dirt.

"Shut up! And she did not say that!" Jay augured, he didn't remember it like that, not that he thought of it often.

"She did too! And how would you know? You ran out of that shed so quick you landed in the patch of nettles ma was growing, your just lucky you had your underwear on before you fell, or I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be using that now." Nicole pointed to Jay's groin area and laughed again. Her and her two older brothers had stood at the backdoor and watched the comedy show that was their brother, run out of the shed only to fall face first into the patch of nettles. They had laughed for hours after because their mother was the only one who could treat the marks the nettles made on Jay's body.

"Stop! Poor Jenny wouldn't talk to me at all after that. She wouldn't even look at ma at the Sunday markets when she passed by, I think her father forced her into a convent after he found out." Jay shrugged his shoulders as he thought about his first girlfriend.

"Ha! Really? Her father was always a bit too fond of the bottle anyways, he probably sent her for the money." Nicole mused and took another sip of her hot tea.

"Yeah, well that was the rumour around town anyways, dunno if it was true or not."

A comfortable silence settled over the Carroll siblings, the only noise heard was Ella's baby babbles. Nicole smiled down at her little girl sitting contently on her uncle's lap, she had been in a good mood all day, making small baby noises to herself and waving her hands enthusiastically while they had been driving over. Nicole was dying to ask Jay what was going on with Murren but she knew she wouldn't get a full response. Jay was always closed off when it came to anyone of his flings or girlfriends, if he didn't want you to know then you certainly wouldn't know. But this was her best friend of twenty five years. That wasn't something to be taken lightly and Nicole took her friendship with Murren very seriously, if worse came to worse, she didn't know who's side she would be on if things took a nasty turn between Jay and Murren.

"What's going on here?" Nicole finally asked she couldn't keep the cat at bay any longer.

"Whaddya mean?" Jay was playing dumb, he knew exactly what Nicole was talking about but he didn't want to be having this conversation with his baby sister while his niece was sitting on his lap.

Nicole gave Jay a look and he sighed but still didn't say anything "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Do we have t-"Jay was saved from saying anything else because Murren strolled into her kitchen smiling at the Carroll siblings.

"Should have known it was you." Murren said to Nicole as she sat down beside her and shot Jay a told you so look.

"So is either of you going to tell me what the hell ye're doing?" Nicole asked, getting straight down to business. They both looked at each other awkwardly before looking down and smiling. Those sick fuckers. "Ohh c'monnn! At least tell me if it's official. Put me out of my misery already." Nicole moaned.

Murren pulled the sleeve of her t-shirt up and revealed a large tattoo of a crow in flight with the Irish flag clutched between its feet, the word Jays was written inside the flag in a curvy font. There was nothing sweeter to complete the tattoo than seeing the year Murren and Jay first met scrawled in the bird's wings. It was official. Murren was now a part of the Old Lady club.

"Oh wow. You guys are such hypocrites!" Nicole pointed her finger to Jay "You! Freaked out when you first found out about me and Opie and you stopped talking to me for_ six_ months! Now you two do this and I had no clue about any of it. Hypocrites the lot of ye!" Nicole was teasing and they knew it from the smile on her face. She was happy for her best friend and brother and she also knew it! She knew it, she knew, she knew it!

Nicole and Ella spent most of the day out with Murren doing some shopping here and there, but mostly just catching up. Nicole had asked how Jay and she had finally gotten together, what happened with Happy. It was a game of twenty questions between the long-time friends but Murren did finally answer her after much pushing and baiting. Nicole was dreading going home though and not seeing Opie especially the way she had let Opie leave while they weren't speaking. It had been the first time he ever left for a run not talking to her. By now he would have at least called once, just to see how she was. Or just checking up. But he had yet to do either of those and Nicole was getting worried that maybe she had pushed him too far.

When she got home that night the house was quiet and she really didn't like it. Usually if she went out with Ella, Opie was always home before her and he always had every light turned on in the house while trying to make something for dinner. Nicole walked into kitchen and sighed when she looked at the bare cooker. She was missing her man. And she knew Ella was too from that way she was starting to get really fussy. She gave Ella her last bottle for the night before getting her settled down and then Nicole climbed into their bed, alone. Without her Old man the bed felt empty, cold and really big. She rolled over to Opie's side of the bed and hugged his pillow close to her body; she checked her phone one more time before sighing in defeat when she saw no messages or calls. She hoped Opie missed her as much as she missed him.

* * *

Opie sighed as he sat down in the Rouge River clubhouse with a beer beside Jax and Chibs. It had been a long ass day, which just seemed to get worse and worse. The three of them had been playing detective around the clubhouse to find who had done what to whom. It had been easy enough until they hit the last member, the V.P was as crooked as they came. He had no sense of brotherhood, only cared about number one, himself. With most of the business under control about who set the locals off, the three Charming boys would probably be home within the next day or two.

Opie watched as woman after woman threw themselves at Jax and Chibs, some even threw themselves at him but none of them caught his eye. There was a petit blonde that was the very opposite of Nicole. She had bleached blonde hair, curled to perfection, bright blue eyes lined with dark mark-up, tiny lips and her face was very hollow and sharp. Her body was thin and her tiny breasts were pushed to the max in the next to nothing top, she barely reached Opie's shoulder. And she wanted Opie. Surprisingly Opie kind of wanted her too. If it wasn't for the serious case of blue balls he had been experience lately he would have told her where to go, but wasn't that what runs were for?

Chibs shot him a look as the blonde sat on his lap and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. He wasn't interested in what she had to say, he was just interested in what she could do to his dick. Jax shot him an incredulous as he watched the girl on Opie's lap grind on him. Jax had never seen Opie stray, never. He was mister happy go lucky when it came to his Old Lady. Things must have been on the rocks for sure if he was getting his dick wet elsewhere.

"Ya don't wana do tha' boyo." Chibs called to Opie as he stood up with the girl. Opie turned back to face the Scottish man with a glare.

"Why not?" Opie had had much to drink since they had sat down and it was starting to hit him fully now.

"You'll regret it, if that girl finds out you did something up here, she'll leave you quicker than you can ask what she's doing." Chibs took a long drink as he watched his brother start to get fired up. Chibs knew it wasn't his place to be talking about what happened behind closed doors, but Chibs had a soft spot for the Irish doctor and he had an even softer spot for wee Ella. he couldn't sit back and watch Opie destroy what was most precious in life. Family. He knew Opie had been off with him for some time now, he just didn't know why.

"Oh yeah? How'd you figure that? You her new best friend or sometin'?" Opie asked icily, almost cynically.

"No, but I have been through this before. I know what women are like after they have a kid, their hormones go to shit; the sex is pretty much non-existence, and the looks. Jasus the looks were somethin' else." Chibs shook his head as he remembered the looks his wife used to give him when she was frustrated with their daughter. If there was anyone that could understand Opie's situation, it was Chibs.

Opie had almost forgotten that Chibs was married and has a teenage daughter back in Ireland. He never talks much about the wife but his daughter was something he boasted about regularly or whenever he got the chance. Opie knew Chibs was only trying to help but he really wasn't in the mood to accept advice from the Scot's man. The day's events, the fight between him and Nicole, Ella's constant crying, the lack of sex, everything was were all starting to build up and right now all he wanted to do was fuck out his frustrations.

"He's right." Jax piped in and gave his two cents. He knew if Opie fucked this girl, he would regret it for a long time. Odds are Nicole would figure it out that Opie had done something while he was away and she would leave, taking little Ella with her. He knew his best friend would fall apart from the inside out if he lost Nicole or Ella. It would destroy him. He had just started his family and Jax didn't want to see him fuck it up just because they hit a rocky patch. He would do his best to keep Opie on the straight and narrow, just like he knew Opie would do for him if the shoe was on the other foot.

"Have you even called her? Sent her a text? Anything?" Jax asked as he waved the petit blonde away from his best friend. The blonde frowned at him but walked away none the less.

Opie sighed and shook his head as he sat back down on the bar stool. He kept telling himself that he was busy and he hadn't found a moment of peace to call or let her know that he was okay. Nothing. He took out his phone and looked at the screen picture. It was a picture he took of Nicole and Ella; just days after Ella came home. Nicole was sitting in the rocking chair in Ella's room, with the small baby clutched lovingly to her chest. Nicole had gotten up to check on Ella and he followed when she still hadn't come back almost twenty minutes later. He walked in to see them both fast asleep in the rocking chair. They were his world, his everything. And he was completely blowing them off because he was frustrated with the situation.

"Maybe you should get that much needed rest and go to bed _alone._" Jax suggested and rested his ringed hand on Opie's huge shoulder and walked off to get some rest of his own.

Opie downed the last his beer and was about to head back to get a dorm room when he suddenly stopped and turned to Chibs who was finishing off his shot of whiskey. "How do you do it?" Opie asked suddenly, startling Chibs.

Chibs turned to Opie with confusion shinning in his brown eyes. "Do wha'?

"Keep her so clam and quite."

"We're talkin' bout wee Ella righ'? Cos' I don't think there's anything tha' would keep ye're Old Lady quite." Chibs chuckled and Opie smirked and nodded his hat covered head at the obvious statement about his Old Lady. No she certainly wasn't one to keep quite.

"Duno really, she just likes me ugly mug and all the lines that come with it, suppose. There's not much ya can do when she's at that age. Ya just feed them, clean them, and love them. They don't do much except cry. Ya have to keep in mind, tha' she's trying to figure you out as much as ye're trying to figure her out. It'll come to ya Ope, stop worrying." Chibs clapped his hand down on Opie's shoulder in a brotherly gesture.

"What if it doesn't? What if she never …bonds with me?" Opie was now expressing his deepest worries about begin a new father.

"It will. Some time's ya just hafta get up the little bit earlier to squeeze in some time with her, but it'll be worth it in the end. Ya know, I used to do this with Fi when Kerri was only small, but I'd take the morning shifts while she slept and she'd get up with Kerri at night. It was the only time I got in with Kerri, before work and the club. Mornings were always our thing." Chibs smiled fondly remembering those precious mornings he spent watching cartoons with baby Kerrianne before he would go to work.

Opie thought long and hard about what Chibs was saying. It was something he could do that would befit both him and Nicole. He was better at getting up for the morning feeds than she was, and at least this way she could sleep a little longer while he spent time with Ella before he would go to TM and then when he got home, Nicole could do the night feeds while he slept. This could work out well if it was planned out correctly.

"Y'know Chibs you could be on to something here." Opie said as he stood up with Chibs. The two bikers hugged it out quickly, showing that whatever was between them before quickly fell away as Opie was able to look at his situation in a new light.

"Aye, brutha I know, just promise me ya'll squeeze in some fumbling around in there too, while ye're at it." Chibs winked and laughed. "I'm sick of lookin' at you're miserable puss and I'm sure you've got a serious case of blue balls underneath. Babies will do tha' to ya. Aye, and make sure ya tell her how much you love her. Women tend to be all over the shop after they give birth, as if they weren't crazy enugh' as it is." Chibs chuckled as he walked off in the direction of a poker game that just started up between some hangarounds.

Opie looked at the picture on his phone one more time before he sent a quick text, saying that he would be home early tomorrow and that he was missing both of them. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say but it was better than nothing. He quickly avoided the band of the girls hanging around the front of the dorms and made his way down to find an empty dorm to crash in for tonight, alone. As soon as he got back tomorrow they would talk and maybe this case of blue balls would be slightly less blue.

* * *

Nicole had been woken up at least three times last night by Ella's cries, she barely got a full four hours of sleep to herself. She had decided to accept her faith of not getting any more sleep and stay up after Ella's last batch of screams, now that the infant was down for a couple more hours of sleep she was going to clean the four empty bottles that Ella had gone through and maybe herself if she had the time. Ella had decided that she had enough of her bottle and had spit most of it back up on Nicole. She now had baby vomit all over her, in her hair; her sleep shirt was covered in the baby's sick, some had even dripped onto the pants she wore to bed.

She was about to tear her hair out at the mess that was her kitchen. There was baby bottles everywhere, plastic plates and spoons had gathered in the sink from Ella's breakfast. Toby was sitting under the table watching her with curious eyes. The dog had taken an instant liking to baby Ella but the infant's cries were too much for the dog's sensitive ears, so whenever Ella was downstairs and crying, Toby would run for the table or cry at the backdoor until someone let him out. He really didn't deal well with Ella's cries.

Nicole moved to the sink to start washing the dirty dishes. _Might as well start with the biggest_. God she couldn't wait for Opie to get home. She missed him so much. Even though he may have only been gone for two days, she missed her bear. She also missed the extra set of hands. Without Opie here to wash Ella's used bottles they started to gather quickly. Usually Opie washed the bottles before he left for TM while Nicole got Ella settled back down, but without him here they were starting back up. She had gotten his text during the night and sighed in relief. He was still thinking about them and if he was thinking about them he wouldn't be thinking about anyone else. She hoped.

They really needed to talk. They were both so worn out from trying to get Ella settled into a routine that they had forgotten about making a routine for themselves. Who ever heard Ella cry first would automatically get up to clam her, most of the time that was Nicole. Opie did do his fair share but he was always cranky begin woken up in the night and Nicole was the opposite, she hated begin woken in the early hours of the morning. She craved for some sort of order in their shifts for getting up with Ella. She couldn't handle much more of this.

As her hands were buried deep in the sudsy warm water, she heard the sounds of a bike outside. She wasn't sure what time Opie was meant to be home at, he just said he would be back earlier than they thought. He never gave a time! Shit. Nicole looked down at herself as she washed the last bottle and left it on the draining board. She hadn't found the time to change or wash off all of Ella's sick and great, now she was going to have to have this conversation with their daughters vomit all over her. Just frickin' dandy! Nicole tried to make a bolt for the stairs so she could get into the shower before Opie got into the house but it was too late.

Opie opened the front door just as Nicole was turning the corner to stairs. He caught sight of her and the vomit in her hair and smiled. This is what he had been waiting for since he left two days ago. Again he noticed the silence of the house and smiled again. Perfect, they could finally talk. Nicole looked up into Opie's dark eyes and made a dash for him. Forgetting about the sick that covered her and their fight before he left, screw it all, she had missed her man. She wrapped her arms around his tight abdomen and relished in the smell of the open road and Opie's own personal smell. Opie wrapped his strong arms around Nicole and picked her up to kiss her. Their lips met for what seemed like the first time in months. Nicole immersed her hands into Opie's long hair and kissed him with a passion that set them both alight inside. Opie pushed her up against the nearest surface and proceeded to kiss the day lights out of her.

"We need to talk." Nicole whispered breathlessly as she pulled away from the fire starting kiss. Opie shook his head as he moved them up the stairs. He had a more serious matter to un-wrap first.

"We'll talk later. First, we're getting into that shower and I'm gonna show my Old Lady how fuckin' sexy she is." Opie said as he carried Nicole in his arms up the stairs and towards their bedroom.

"Ope-"

"Don't. Don't give me that crap about you not looking good. You just carried our daughter for months, and sure your body's marked, but you have never looked more beautiful to me than you do now." Nicole shot him an incredulous look as she picked up a piece of her hair that was covered in Ella's sick. Opie just kissed her lightly and continued "Even with sick in your hair. You are beautiful baby and those stretch marks are proof of how much pain you went through to have our little girl."

Opie pulled his shirt away from Nicole's body and set his sights on her stomach as he placed her down on the bathroom sink. He bent low so he could lovingly kiss and caress every mark on her stomach.

"Ope, we really should talk." Nicole's voice was shaky as she felt his beard rub against her sensitive sink.

"I promise, we will talk after." Opie spoke with a deep voice as he turned on the shower and removed his cut.

Nicole squeaked as Opie pulled her by the front of her sleep pants into the shower and then picked her up as he pulled her pants off and threw them over his shoulder. He was getting rid of his blue balls.

After their extremely long and loving shower, Nicole couldn't have felt happier about herself as she wrapped herself in a big towel that Opie got for her after their shower. He had gone to check on the now awake Ella who had just started to cry when they had finished their shower together. Nicole caught her reflection in the steam clouded mirror and smiled. The reflection showed just what she was, a very satisfied and happy woman.

She opened the bathroom door to their bedroom to see Opie holding Ella with a towel wrapped around his waist. His muscular back glistened under the light of day that was streaming through the open curtains; the reaper tattoo stared back at her as she walked up behind him and rested her head against his shoulder blade. She could feel his muscles tensing and tighten under her head as he turned and wrapped a burly arm around her shoulders. She smiled down at Ella as the little girls eyes lit up when they focused on her mother. Opie placed a kiss on her forehead and past Ella over to her, the little girl went happily.

Nicole sat down on the bed and talked nonsense to Ella while Opie got dressed. Opie looked over his shoulder at the two girls who owned his heart. He smiled as he felt his heart swell with love, and to think he could have thrown all this way, his heart, his home for some stupid one night stand. He was grateful he had two brothers that would keep him on the straight and narrow. Jax and Chibs really did have his back. Opie's smile widen when he heard what Nicole said to Ella.

"Where's your daddy? Huh? Where is he?" Nicole whispered to baby as she looked up and pointed to Opie, Ella made strange baby noises and looked in his direction. His baby girl knew who he was and that was all that mattered.

* * *

**A/N: Well hello again my lovely readers! :D I told you all I would try to post some one-shots whenever I found the time between school and studying and so I have! *gasp***

**I hope you loved reading this as much as I loved writing this. If you haven't noticed throughout the one-shot, this one-shot is about Nicole and Opie struggling to adjust to parenthood to their deaf daughter, it mostly focuses on Opie's struggles more so than Nicole's. I wanted to show Opie accepting his role as Ella's father and show that he can have a really close relationship with his little girl, if he finds the time and puts in the effort. Also, you got a tiny taste of my next one-shot. I'm going to try and make a one-shot about the love triangle between Happy, Murren and Jay.**

**I really hoped everyone that has read this one-shot enjoyed it and if you really, really want to (not saying you have to or anything), please leave me a few reviews, maybe? ;) I know I didn't get much on the 'official story of the Irish Sister' but I really hope I do on this one. I would love to know if I'm a good, bad, crap or an okay writer and your reviews would help me figure that out. :D So if you have the time please, please review PLEASE! :)**

**Thanks for reading :) **

**Nesiee**


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